Cheers to Tuesday! I'm in fabulous San Francisco at GDC this week an finally was able to take a break from my busy drinking schedule business meetings schedule in order to tell you about a few new comics coming out.
I know that I will checking out porn queen Jenna Jameson's foray into comics Shadow Hunter. It can't possibly be anything other than good clean fun could it? Of course there's Ultimate X-men, but who would want to read Marvel anymore? I mean, at this point that's like reading anything Oprah recommended in her book of the month club debacles.
Oh well, time for another martini meeting. Wish me a good second round (of venture capital, keep your minds out of the gutter!)
Seriously effed up. That's really all there is to say about Johnny the Homicidal Maniac. A creation of Jhonen Vasquez of Invader Zim fame, JTHM centers on the titular Johnny C. who is a serial killer and mass murder, but all around good guy. Through Johnny, Vasquez explores various elements of our urban-blighted, post-consumerist hell (I think he has just lived in LA too long) that we call the US. Major themes are evil, urban life, Heaven and Hell, tenuousness of personal relationships.
Well, I know you were spoiled last week with pictures and *gasp* opinions about what to read/buy for the week. I'll have none of it. Count yourself lucky that I'm so bored/smashed/enamoured with my new laptop that I'm actually going to post today, the most holy of days, Consumermas. All good reputable (read desperate) comic book stories will be open tomorrow so run on down and be a good fanboy and help out your fellow nerds. As for myself, I'll be at a local bar trolling for a date...god I hate Christmas.
Hey look! We suckered another poor schmuck into writing so Boy of Tomorrow and I can go play scoured our fanbase for the most qualified and verbose individuals and are proud to introduce you to our newest writer, Jonostarsmore. He's already written a jim-dandy New Comic Tuesday, in which he did a better job than I do...bloody suck-up.
I asked J to write me a brief bio. This is what I got:
Jonostarsmore was raised by cougars (no, not the animals: the elder females who hunt for young males) who learned of his preference for male superheroes in tights and in shame, threw him into a toxic waste site, right off of the bay near El Segundo, CA. Little did the cougars know that the waste disposed by nearby Mattel HQ contained a mixture of defunct intellivision parts, barbie doll prototypes, and he-man action figures. Jonostarsmore was horribly disfigured in the incident, but due to the seemingly toxic mixture, became a video game guru (thanks intellivision!) , as well as having some sort of fashion taste (thanks Barbie!). His muscle daddy fetish remains a mystery. Another side effect of the accident was the inability to detect sarcasm, which has truly come in handy for Jonostarsmore, as the Pink Kryptonite staff finds this concept foreign and quite below them. [ed. note: You have NO IDEA how annoying this really is. BoT and I subsist on sarcasm alone. Food is for show]
Uniting with Boy Blunder and Boy of Tomorrow (and wondering when the men will start showing up), Jonostarsmore fights the good comic book fight on Pink Kryptonite which desperately needs more readers.
Clearly I need to explain that briefs doesn't always mean aussieBum and ginch gonch.
An exquisite elderly gay gentleman from Alabama with white hair and beard, jocular face, and mischievous smile showed up unexpectedly at my birthday party this year and pressed Scott Pilgrim into my hand. Leaning in close he whispered into my ear that this book needed to be mine.
"Odd," I replied, still taken aback by his presence/presents. "What is it?"
"Canadian manga."
"Really?" Disdain acridly hanging between us.
"Oh shut the fuck up and read it you ungrateful bitch!" And with that he was gone, and the absinthe flowed and I don't remember much of the rest of the night.
Months later I did finally, in a fit of boredom brought upon by the successful completion of BioShock and the utter lack of anything else on the market, spy Mr. Pilgrim peeking up at me from under back issues of Genre, XY, and Instinct. I relented and reluctantly cracked open the cover. I was doomed. I could not put the damn thing down. Seriously screwed up characters, total blurring of gender roles and identities, smart clever writing, physic powers...God I love this so much I must need therapy! Well, aside from that obvious statement, I wholeheartedly recommend this eventual six part series.
This weekend a new long HDtrailer for the Dark Knight hit. Any qualms that I had regarding the choice of Heath Ledger for the role of the Joker have been eliminated, not eased, not allay, flat-out obliterated. Others have posted lengthy articles about it, so I'll just take the opportunity to go get fresh trousers and clean up the mess...
5And lo, they ventured forth from their dark places, succumbing to the siren's call of Wednesday, the day of the-refreshening-of-the-stocks. 6Verily they slinked and slithered, hissing at the brightness of the light, strong in the convictions of their obsessions, ready to fight the old fights, JLA vs. X-men, ad nauseum. 7As it was told, and all knew, let the days between the coming of the shiny-and-new number seven, not six, nor eight, but seven and the number of the days shall count a week, never getting to a fortnight, and the shiny-and-new will appear as though magic on this day and let all the fanboys rejoice in their celebration, and if they are of that ilk, to drink and make merry.
This has been a reading from the book of the Stocking Manual, Chapter 5, verses 5-7. Let us now prey on the comic store clerks and astonish him or her with our compendious knowledge.
I always viewed kids with imaginary friends as a little...well let's just say I thought they were EFFIN NUTS. I think the suburbs do it to you. Too much uniformity in your life, too much expectation to conformity; it's just not going to end well.
Now imagine if your imaginary friends show back up in your late teens, and it turns out they are harbingers of an even greater evil intent on the destruction of your small hamlet. Well evidently the protagonist of the story see this as a bad thing. Personally, if the suburb I grew up in were wiped off the map, I think I might have a hard time noticing/caring/putting down Mass Effect/blinking. Nevertheless, Suburban Glamour is a four-part mini series, issue two is due out in December. Check it.
Fully the first few hours of everyday for me is spent deciding what to wear (and what my trick's name is). Boy of Tomorrow may have revealed to you the face of evil, but I give you.....the wardrobe of evil. Far more important in the long run, for consider the reverberations of the "rubber nipple affair."
Well Fruit Brute didn't like the peanut butter slipped into his shoes earlier this month. But after much cajoling, and a wonderful twelve-course Thanksgiving (or as I like to call it, the day we celebrate the-systematic-eradication-of-indigenous-persons day now with gluttony!) meal, he has finally let me back into the castle...
I'll be reading this week the penultimate American Virgin, the Highlander trade (I'm a sucker for boys with swords), and All Star Batman.
My temporary roomie introduced me to this; she's evil.
So um God comes back, looses all the demons of Hell on earth, takes away the people he likes, and leaves Michael the archangel to protect people he sorta likes. No one really notices, demons become flatmates, working in Marketing, life is pretty much normal...oh and Michael gets captured by Lucifer. God then picks a new champion, the beer-guzzling, womanizing, cigar-smoking, foul-mouthed, combative pontiff, whom he had previously disavowed. With Jesus H. Christ as his new sidekick, they take on the hordes of hell.
Yes, this actually got published. Yes, you should read it. Yes, you will need several showers.
Bad things of a galactic scale occur if Boy of Tomorrow and I get in same general vicinity of each other. Out of consideration of not causing the multiverse to implode, we tend to communicate via IM. Behold the banality...
BoT: hey, what do you want for xmas?
TBB: a new mac book pro
TBB: a job
TBB: my mortgage paid
BoT: yeah, ok, things i can provide
BoT: think in the < $50 range
BoT: because i'm dirt poor
TBB: you needn't get me anything other than what I already have...a wonderful friendship
BoT: i'm so glad your sex change operation is going through. really, i am. it's nice to see the hormone treatment is working.
BoT: now seriously either you come up with something or i'm getting you hostess cupcakes
TBB: i prefer ding dongs
BoT: and i might replace the filling with mayo
BoT: :D
BoT: god, i would totally do that, too
TBB: your a sick sick man
BoT: you love it
BoT: so shut your pie hole
TBB: I think I'll get you a Domokun costume
BoT: ?
BoT: meh
Moment Of The Week #8
Well last week Ruby Summers blasted the competition easily for Moment of the Week! Just like the old saying goes, never underestimate a girl made out of living gemstone with laser eyes. This week we take a look at some astounding moments from last weeks Spider-Man: Secret Invasion, Wolverine, New Avengers, Final Crisis: Rogue's Revenge, Ultimate X-Men and Thunderbolts. (Marvel heavy, last week) So join me after the jump, and be warned. Spoilers lie beyond. So if you still have to pick up any of these books, don't read ahead because it'll ruin the surprise!...
Cheers to Tuesday! I'm in fabulous San Francisco at GDC this week an finally was able to take a break from my busy 
Well, I know you were spoiled last week with pictures and *gasp* opinions about what to read/buy for the week. I'll have none of it. Count yourself lucky that I'm so bored/smashed/enamoured with my new laptop that I'm actually going to post today, the most holy of days, Consumermas. All good reputable (read desperate) comic book stories will be open tomorrow so run on down and be a good fanboy and help out your fellow nerds. As for myself, I'll be at a local bar trolling for a date...god I hate Christmas.
