Then there are the kids who just run amok in stores, they pick up, handle and generally misplace pretty much everything. Occasionally they will try to run out of the store with something to show whichever parent happens to be dragging them along at the time. While this may seem innocent and cute, it is kind of a pain to run out into another store and ask a small child to please give back what she stole. Often that leads to doe eyes, crying, and potentially that high pitch scream as the underpaid clerk tries to take back a toy from a small child.

What adds insult to injury in the whole "We're-gonna-leave-you-with-our-child-while-we-shop-hassle-free" shtick is when the parent either doesn't buy anything, or worse, buys the cheapest damn thing in the store. How many times to they get away with "Hi, we need you to take care of little Jenny and Johnny for a couple of hours. We'll pay you with the cost of a lollipop; does that sound fair?" for babysitters?

What's even more amazing is the parent dropping the child off at the store is often a parent who has rarely, if ever, set foot in the store themselves. How do they know the person working the store is good with kids? How do they know their child won't be terrorized by a man who talks through the back of his throat and in stilted sentences? Worst. Babysitter. Ever.

This is of course, assuming the clerks even notice the child at all. At some points in the day, stores can be so busy that a clerk would just assume a child was with one of the people in the store and actually buying something. There's nothing more fun than a parent coming up to you and asking "Have you seen my little Jenny? She's three foot tall and wearing red." and having no idea who she's talking about.

Then there are the children who actually are in the store with their parents. I don't know if it's the proximity of their parents to them or a coincidence, but they often tend to be even worse than the unattended kids. Most parents do their best to keep them under control and keep the store in some semblance of order after the child tornadoes whip through.

Some parents -and these clearly are the ones who have never worked in retail- will leave whatever items their kids picked up where their kids dropped it, leaving the annoyed clerks to pick up after their kids. We're not a daycare, nor a janitorial service; they're your kids, pick up after them, dammit!

Parents, if your child likes sticking her/his fingers into electric outlets, it's probably not a good idea to let them wander around the store. Comic stores are so not baby proofed; unless your child exhibits amazing healing abilities, you should probably keep a close eye on them. I have actually had to run and stop a toddler from sticking his finger into an electric outlet. Granted, he probably wouldn't have been able to get in far enough to actually be shocked; but still, better safe than smelling electrically baked baby for the rest of the day.

Most people who are reading this will already know, but comics today are, for the most part, not for children. There are those that are aimed at kids and those that are probably kid friendly enough that you won't have to worry. However, like video games, it is your responsibility to find out what they want, the contents of it, and if you think your child is ready to read it. Some parents are totally fine with their kid reading Ultimates 3, many wouldn't be. You can ask a clerk what she thinks, but in the end it's up to you.

One final tip to help keep your comic store clerk sane. If your child is still actually given allowance that includes change, please have the foresight to either swap it out with bills yourself or take them to a bank. It may be so cute to you seeing your kid buy stuff on their own, but it will drive the employee nuts if she has to count out six dollar in pennies and dimes for a couple of lousy packs of Pokemon cards.

Anyway, next week's will be a mishmash of various smaller tips like "Discounts or Comic stores...pick one", "Vagueness is not your friend" and "Don't buy something for $1 with a credit card."

Got a question for me? Email me here! I'll start answering questions in future columns; you know, as soon as I actually have any to answer...