Ask-a-Fanboy: What have you done for me lately?

Why do drag queens dressed like Helen Slater never actually look as good in a Supergirl outfit?

You know, you'd think they would wouldn't you? Maybe its not enough glitter? Or MAC ran out of foundation and they are just making do with 3 inches caked on?

Wootini once killed a man by strangling him with his beard. What HAVE you done that was equally epic?

I once broke a man's will to live with a single word. (Scum boyfriend of one of my hags) He's not been heard from since.

Ron Paul is the devil. Agree or disagree?

Yes, I agree or disagree. Furthermore, it is critical that our nation take a strong stance on this issues of agreement once and for all. It is no longer viable to disagree on agreeing to disagree on disagreements. I intend to put a plan together to assemble people that will evaulate the hard work of looking at what might have to be needed to be done. After all, it is our country and necessary to look at the issues with a fresh eye. God bless America.

Are you a Family Matters man or a Full House man?

Please, amateur. I'm am and will always be Family Guy man, followed closely by the Jeffersons. Though, in the deep dark recesses of my very twisted brain, I could see Urkel starting to date DJ, in her rebellious attempt to gain attention over Michelle's growing popularity in the family. Kimmie tries to steal Steve from DJ, but their fighting over him just drives him into Joey's basement. Of course Kimmie and DJ reconcile in the last two minutes and Steve and Joey start dating. Carl is thrilled that Urkel is out of the picture with regards to Laura, and comes out to wish him well in his new life. Guess its a good thing I wasn't the showrunner for season nine.

Have you ever read those Halo or Resident Evil books, how are they?

Do they have pretty pictures of half-naked boys? If not, I think you know the answer...

Hypothetically if I threw a basketball at Boy of Tomorrows head, and it ricochets off his forehead and goes into the hoop and I do this outside the 3 point line. Does it count as a point?

A question of this complexity required me to consult with the officials involved, the NBA, and Boy of Tomorrow himself. I'll let you sort out who was responsible for which answer:

Answer 1) The closest governing rules would be 5.c A successful field goal attempt from the area outside the three-point field goal line shall count three points. 5.g. An unsuccessful free throw attempt which is tapped into the basket shall count two points and shall be credited to the player who tapped the ball in. So where BoT is determines the points. If he is outside of the three-point line, it would be three points, within, two points.

Answer 2) Hypothetically... it wouldn't matter. He would've obliterated you from the face of the planet with his ungodly futuristic arsenal of ray guns and doomsday devices before the ball even made it into the hoop.